"Happy Chinese New Year" everyone. I'm back with the moodiest mood ever. On a supposedly very rowdy new year eve. I felt as pathetic as ever. what's wrong with me. but I'm fine. I don't need a bit of pityness. I'm doing good here.
This afternoon, I was using the com as usual. When there's a loud sound of breaking glass from the kitchen. Apparantly, my clock that is hanged at the wall between the doorway of the kitchen and the living room has absurdly dropped to the floor, and breaking the glass of the clock. 1230pm. On the last day of 2008 on lunar calender. I was kind of freaked out. I felt like something bad gonna happened.
I sweeped the glass away. After like 2 hours, I stepped on a very very very tiny piece of glass. It stabbed into my feet and bleed. woooo~ blood =) but it hurts ><
I only realised that I would felt even more lonely with a crowd than being alone. Everytime I set out doing something, I realised it's pointless and I would ask myself why am I doing that. Everytime I tried to do something that supposedly should make me feel better and happier, but I ended up even more upset. I'm not supposed to feel lonely. really. when I've got two sisters. and friends. Loneliness is a sin. but I did it. I felt it.
I was having reunion dinner with my family, my aunts and my uncles. Then I was.. walking around, or sitting down, dazing at the space for some time, before my aunt ask me what am I staring at. I tried to shake myself back to reality but it's hard.
I wish I am the teddy bear sitting on my bed now. At least he is loved by me.
Ah forget it. I don't want to be so pathetic. Cheer up man -.-
p.s. however, I felt something bad is gonna happen...
