I've loaded this blogger update page three times today;and close it three times today. It seems pointless to blog and I don't know what to update but well, nevermind. I've got too much on my mind. where to start? Just a summary.
I got cheated by some con man while working. I'm dumb.
$90 flew away. Just too dumb.
The performance for moe excel fest was great. YIMB, keep it up.
The show, P.S. I love you. Anyone watched it? Some statement in it I wanted to say it to YOU.
不管在那里，
我都只离你一个转身的距离。
只要你一转身，
就能看见我。
It says, "wherever you are, I'm always a turn away from you so that can see me easily."
I'm sick and tired of having to pretend that my-day-was-ooh-so-great and have put on a fake smile that everyone should know it isn't real everyday.
Those guilty-ness that came from nowhere was attacking me every now and then.
Those angry-ness that came from nowhere was killing me.
Those helplessness that came from nowhere was tearing me apart.
Those sadness that came from nowhere was breaking me down.
I know if I show my true self, you people will dislike me, and even hate me. I just know you will.
I know I'm irritating. yes, I am.
I know I sucks in all areas. I know, everything about me sucks.
I'm really sorry about it. I don't mean it, seriously.
I am. Please forgive me. I'm sorry
Forgive me for all my un-ables. Forgive me.
Forgive me for all my imperfection. Ooh yes, forgive me.
24th June 2006
All is settling down nicely right now. Enjoy the quiet time and slow things down.
If closure on an issue is frustratingly slow in coming, stop waiting for it. Things are settling nicely enough to give you a firm foundation to move forward upon, so feel free to go ahead. Lingering feelings of guilt, regret or anger need to just settle inside you for a while. You can come back and deal with them when you're ready. Keep things quiet and don't put too much pressure on yourself to be happy all the time -- it's just not healthy.
A horoscope analysis on friendster on 24th June. I found it very accurate.
I'm alright. I'm alright. I'm alright. I'm not.
I just wish I can cried loudly. as loud as I can.
And screamed,"I wish you are here." only if.
I wanted to get away from this world full of fictions and unreals. But it seems impossible.
To nadillah,
If you are reading this, please, I wanted to say, I wanted to help so much. I'm sorry.
To any randomers out there reading this, I'm sorry(bow head)
I didn't mean to do anything-I'm-not-supposed-to. I didn't mean to.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
